Making ChatGPT write like Hemingway about cyber security (and why it works).
I’ve been bothering ChatGPT. Making it do silly things for my own amusement. I’ll be first against the wall when the robot revolution comes.
As a result, this week’s writing recommendation is; be more Hemingway (the goal of every English Lit undergraduate).
But there’s more; how to use and then tone down AI’s Hemingwayness.
Usually ChatGPT churns out corporate blah. I’m probably getting the prompts wrong, but where’s the tone and style? It’s really dull.
So I made it auto-complete 300 words about a recent cyber security breach. First in the style of The Economist, to reflect the ‘corporate, yet accessible’ tone that so many companies want. Then I made it run it again in the style of Hemingway. And it made me laugh.
What a difference in tone!
It turns out the slick Hemingway style is perfect for writing about cyber security breaches (if ever so slightly melodramatic). Listen to this:
‘The breach came quietly, like the fall of night’.
It’s alive; unlike the emotionless corporate-yet-accessible style:
‘The recent breach of the US Treasury by hackers has underscored the growing sophistication of cyber threats facing governments and businesses alike’.
Yawn! Please don’t go on.
(Note. This is not ACTUAL Economist prose, just ChatGPT mimicking it).
Style of Hem grabs your attention:
‘Hackers slipped into the US Treasury, unseen, unnoticed. They moved through the networks like shadows, exploiting old software and weak points no one had thought to guard. Now, secrets and data, things we hold close, are in the wrong hands’.
It’s such an unusual style for business writing that it stands out. You’d read it, but would you buy? Is it too unprofessional? Does it work for cyber security, but perhaps not for marketing software, say? Or non-technical people, but not your senior Devs?
So, what could you take from this experiment that would work for you? How about trying:
Short phrases.
Hemingway is known for his sparse writing. The ChatGPT version has got staccato punctuation that gives it a sense of urgency. The opening line is just 9 words. An easy to read sentence is 15-20 words. A catchy opening line can be under 10.
So, instead of ‘The breach came quietly, like the fall of night’, try something like:
‘Silent hackers breached the US Treasury defences’.
or
‘Unnoticed at first, hackers snuck in to the system’.
(written by Word Savvy, not ChatGPT.)
Gentle metaphors.
It shows you what it means with expressions like; ‘like the fall of night’, ‘like shadows’. That said, ‘like shadows’ is verging on a cliché, but you can think of better ones. Tech people are usually good at explaining things in lay terms using metaphors.
For example:
‘The breach exposed the system, as deftly as fileting a mackerel’.
‘Hackers forced open the defences like an octopus on a clam’.
(more Word Savvy)
Words we all understand.
Phrases like ‘secrets and data’ and ‘the wrong hands’. A good place to start is by speaking, where we often use more familiar words and expressions.
For example:
‘Hackers picked open the US Treasury defences. They exposed the system like a fileted mackerel, ferreting out weak points and stealing important records’.
(Word Savvy again)
Too often corporate writing is dull. In an effort to appear expert and professional, it feels like a heavy blanket has been laid over the text. Just like this AI-in-the-style-of-The-Economist example:
‘This breach exemplifies the need for companies to adopt a proactive, multi-layered approach to cybersecurity’.
It’s stale and bland. Recognisable from a thousand thought-leadership pieces. It tells us what to do, rather than showing the problem or the benefit of a good solution.
It uses supposedly clever words like ‘exemplifies’ and ‘multi-layered’, but ends up being deadening. (MS Editor recommended changing ‘proactive’ for ‘initiative-taking’ *sigh*).
In contrast Hemingway-style-AI ends with sharp advice:
‘The breach is a warning. The game has changed. It's no longer about just protecting the front door; it's about keeping watch on every crack and crevice’.
So today’s business writing tip for cyber security is; be more Hemingway… Go on, go catch a marlin.
Or call us. We can help.
Note. This is not intended to be a (literary or otherwise) criticism of Hemingway or The Economist. The examples are not actually from either writer/publication. They are invented to show how writing style can change the way your business sounds. No correspondence will be entered into, not even about The Old Man and The Sea.
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